It’s old but it’s still very very funny at this time of year, doing the annual pilgrimage to Bordeaux. So, having spent a week in Bordeaux, having gums assailed by giant tannins, somebody has finally got to grips with some basic French wine terminology …. enjoy! 

French: A good year

Translation: a bad year

French: A classic year 

Translation: most of the wines are undrinkable

French: A Parker wine

Translation: lucky bastards

French: an elegant wine

Translation: a wine with no fruit

French: a wine with great structure

Translation: a wine with ferocious (probably unripe) tannins

French: A vintage for the purist

Translation: please buy my wine – somebody, anybody…

French: prices will be the same as last year

Translation: make me an offer

French: It is a Cabernet vintage

Translation: My winery is in the Médoc

French: It is a right bank vintage

Translation: My winery is in St Emilion / Pomerol

French: It is impossible to generalise

Translation: It was crap everywhere.

En-primeur 2024 update…

French: It’s a micro-climate vintage.

Translation: All the wines are terrible everywhere! But, at least mine are better than my neighbours!